Rugs aren’t scary.

The weather has been grayer lately, yesterday it rained for awhile.  I was thankful beyond words because I am so sick of sunny days.  In celebration I am writing to you in my mint colored winter robe and I have put away my thinner navy blue summer robe.  Yes I wear robes, they provide convenient and easy warmth, I don’t care what you think.

So, I have an amazing friend Jessica, and I am blessed by her  in so many ways.  Without her my life would be lonelier and less joyful.  We can talk about life, God, food and Etsy for hours on end.  She loves my family and my kids love her back, I swear my little guy thinks he’s going to marry her one day.  She is the one who helped me figure out some of this:

I have been absent from my writing lately, my passion has been elsewhere, if it has existed at all.  I have been making rag rugs, wreaths, halloween costumes and a dozen different kinds of soup.  I haven’t wanted to write or work on my book proposal, but I do want to watch 3 hours of Mad Men and crochet hats.  I’ve thought about this a lot and I’ve pretty much diagnosed the issue:  If I screw up soup or a hat it’s frustrating but only on a minor scale, no one really knows that I failed except me.   Unless, of course, my soup failure makes our house smell (I did that in my early days of cooking by confusing a bulb of garlic with a clove.. toxic)

There isn’t anything wrong with cooking and crafting, far from it, it is an aspect of who God created me to be.  However, it’s not really the calling he has placed on me right now and I think his plans for me stretch a little wider than the floor in front of my kitchen sink.  Which is now occupied by a big rag rug.  I guess I have been scared and feeling pretty inadequate, and to be honest I am still a little depressed and grieving.  So I’ve been crafting therapeutically and ignoring Gods whisper to write and delve deeper.  I know that there is a window of grace for me in this season, but I also sense a horizon drawing near and a responsibility to take off my crafty yoga pants, put on my big girl jeans and face it head on.

Intentional distraction and or running away is a pretty normal human reaction to a a big calling, lots of biblical peeps doubted or ran away from God’s call on their lives.  I think specially of Jonah who was afraid to go to Nineveh so he got on a boat going the opposite direction.  This is also why I am avoiding boats right now.  I don’t want to be cruising along on the waves crocheting a hat or eating soup and get eaten by a fish, no thank you.

When you get an earful of God’s calling it is often exciting and frightening all at the same time and it’s human and normal to avoid and choose flight over fight.  Every person on the face of this earth has a purpose and a passion and God calls us all to big and scary things.  I am sure that I’m not the only one online right now who is feeling called to something beyond themselves.  And from what i understand that is how God loves to work, he loves to call a little guy to do a huge thing, it brings him Glory, and he’s a big fan of that because it reminds the world that he’s still gloriously God.

Are you running today?  What is your metaphorical soup or rag rug?  Maybe you are on a boat going the opposite direction but you’re ready to wet-suit up and change ships.  Lets do it, ready?  Plug your nose and jump with me.  I am sure it’s scary but I bet it’s scary good.  I will work on my book proposal if you ______ .  (this is the part where you tell me what your going to do about your scary big call)

Please enjoy our family Halloween picture, the kids as owlets, Kel and the tree they next in and me as Flo the progressive lady.