A repost from July of 2009- which will be pretty new for most of you. My proposal writing is at an intense point so I am trying to be faithful to posting in this space, yet make progress on the proposal front. So I’m pulling from the archives and trying not to nitpick my 3 year old writing…
I have been breastfeeding my daughter Noelle for about 10 weeks now. That’s not that much time, in the grand scheme of life it’s like a sneeze. But I have to say that it’s been the most amazing ten weeks of life I have known. Every time she is hungry and starts to exhibit those sure fire “mom feed me soon or I will go ballistic” signs I take the necessary steps and make sure she gets the milk she needs. However, usually it’s not fast enough for her liking, but I shoot for two minutes or less . Sometimes, I stop (the horror) to burp her in the middle of the feeding or we pause and I switch her to the other side. When I do this, she has the tendency to cry, fuss and generally express extreme unhappiness that she is not currently chugging milk. The other day I was feeding her, and switching her to the other side and I told her (yes I talk to her all the live long day) “Noelle! For your entire life there has been food when you needed it, what makes you think today would be any different?”
I myself had spent the week freaking out about money. Worrying that perhaps we could default on a payment, OR not be able to buy diapers, OR the car would break down and the repairs would be more than our emergency fund. We only have so much savings in place until I get paid again, how are we going to make it?!
And the Lord spoke and said: “Leanne, you’ve been alive for 27 years. Have you ever gone hungry, without transportation, or had your household poop needs unmet? (In all fairness my household poops needs have drastically changed recently)
Scripture says this:
We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. ~Hebrews 5:11-14
To which I responded: “Wow God, please teach me more through Motherhood” (and he has!)
You see I am just like my daughter when she freaks out about a split second break in nursing. When I see a potential problem in the distance or spill a drop of faith due to a small bump in the road act, I freak out like Chicken little with her made up falling sky. It’s NOT GOING TO BE OKAY! The sky is FALLING! The ROOF is caving in, The bottom has fallen out and this will surely end me! (I’ve always been a touch dramatic, don’t act surprised)
But I am NOT an infant
I am 27 years of sustained healthy well-loved adult woman.
Who still freaks out constantly with an “It’s not going to be okay” mentality
This my friends is a value I do not want to pass on.
Dear Lord please be with me in this… help me to rise above and show my children that you are the giver and sustainer, you are the LORD our God, and it will forever and always be more than just okay. Help me becomer a spiritual steak and taffy eater (you see these things take time to chew) so that my daugther sees it and follows in my footsteps.
And all Gods people, or at least this one said: AMEN.