Today I’m joining in the five minute friday conversation through the Gypsy Mama.  I have five minutes to write, start to finish on a selected topic.

“We write because we love words and the relief it is to just write them without worrying if they’re just right or not. So we take five minutes on Friday and write like we used to run when we were kids.

On Fridays we write with gusto, unselfconscious and flat out.”

Me writing, all vulnerable in my worst PJ pants and no makeup sporting bed head. This photo was taken by my daughter, when I let her use my camera to capture the world from her perspective.

Today we write about Opportunity, so here I go, all heart, no editing.

They all head out the door, sippy cups in the side pocket of the bag and towels flowing over the sides.  Off to the splash pad, to WalMart and then home.  The door closes and here I sit with my chance, my two hours or so to write.

This is my opportunity to do the thing God put within me to do besides motherhood.  Two hours to say all that I’ve been longing to communicate for the past few days.

He left in a huff and me with a frown.

He’s leaving in 48 hours for a conference, and then when that door closes I’ll be 4 days a single parent, how do those women do it every day, month, year?  Every bath and diaper and meal all on me.  A part of me is at peace and then the other part is frustrated.  I love being a mother, in every way but somedays my career aspirations shout “Hey, what about me?”

I strive to die to myself, to serve those little ones and the bearded guy that I love down to an atomic level.

Yet, somewhere inside me there is a whisper, “You can serve others too, outside these walls, you have a story, you have hope, don’t give up, don’t quit, there is more for you”

And then I scream inside, “but when!  When is this moment?!”  It isn’t now, or if it is it’s only a few hours a week when I have the brain space to unblock my thoughts and let them become words to share.

It’s a season, whispers my Father, I give you everything you need to fulfill your purpose, grace for my timing beautiful daughter, breathe the air of my grace.

He’s leaving in 48 hours, we have only a little time left as a family, to laugh and part with hearts full of love.

I think I shall seize it.  

  • Pingback: Five Minute Friday: Opportunity | Even A Girl Like Me()

    • http://joycannis.wordpress.com Joy

      I love this picture! You are beautiful!

      • http://leannepenny.wordpress.com leannepenny

        Oh man, thank you sweet friend!

        • http://collinesblog.wordpress.com Colline

          Enjoy the time as the children will grow before you know it – and then God will use you to impact on others’ lives in some way.

          • http://leannepenny.wordpress.com leannepenny

            Thanks Coline! I certainly am savoring my time with them every day, and I never want to forget to do that.

        • http://joycannis.wordpress.com Joy

          I just call it like I see it!

  • http://www.inthetangles.blogspot.com Janice

    Oh this is so relatable! (note: “relatable” is clearly not a word because no matter how I spell it, the computer squiggles it in red. Too bad, computer, I’m still going to use it.)

    I feel like I’ve been saying “This is a season” so often lately that it’s becoming a mantra. I have 3 little ones and would love to write more, but the few hours that show up, usually while everyone else is asleep and I SHOULD be asleep, are not always ideal writing moments, as I’m sure you know.

    I do love being full-time mom, in the way all other ones do – loving the kids and those precious moments, wishing for more patience in the mundane-ness of it all. And I don’t feel like the “This is a season” thing is said because I wish I was in a different season, it’s just a good reminder that I’m finite and can only do so much.

    And it’s nice to hear that other people feel the same way.

    I’m off to poke around your blog. Found you through Joy Cannis’ 5MF post.

    • http://leannepenny.wordpress.com leannepenny

      Wow! Sounds like we live in similar seasons friend! I feel you! I love the special unique-ness of the stay at home mom season too, wouldn’t trade it away, but it’s challenging and I’m not going to lie about that either.

      Good insight on being finite, very wise reflection.