He’s home, for ME.

This is my man. swoon!

Last night we painted welcome home signs complete with a stick figure daddy to welcome home my husband Kel.  Today he rolled in just before 1:00, tired and dragging his suitcase.  I promptly jumped on him in delight and squealed like a monkey.

I’ve told him at least 22 times already that I’m so glad he’s back, that he’s mine and I’ll never stop annoying him with reminders of how glad I am to be reunited.

You see, this time he’s home for me.  Not to take care of the yard or resume bath duty. He’s home for me, because he’s my sexy hot papa and I’ve missed him.  For the first time in a very long while I was delighted that we were together again, just to be us.

3 days and 2 hours might not seem like a long time to be away, but you have to realize that we left in the midst of a fight and had another one over text message, you know, for good measure.

I always get a little irritated when he leaves and I’m left with everything to do at home and no one to share it with.  I grumble things like, “those conference planners never asked me if I wanted to pull three triple shifts.”  or “I bet he’s out to lunch right now, laughing and eating a gourmet sandwich while I’m cleaning up a broken salt shaker and trying to convince our daughter not to eat the ceramic remains.

After the kids were born,  I began to miss him not for who he was, but for the things he did.  That view of him eventually drifted into our day to day life as well.   “Great, you’re home, fire up the grill, Dizzle needs a diaper and I’m going to need you to run back out for milk later.”

I saw him as the relief pitcher, the extra help, the lawn guy.  Not Kel the guy with the deep brown eyes who cried through our wedding vows.  Not Kel the one who romanced me with poems about sitting on a couch in the front yard.  Not Kel the one who held me through funerals and breakdowns, weddings and births.

Somebody smack me, for I reduced him to “the help.”

Screw that, the help?  No, that’s nothing like what I swore to on our wedding day and it doesn’t line up very congruently with God’s plan either.

I want sexy friendly funny fabulous union again, not just two people with different to-do lists.  Two roomies always moving around each other, rarely intersecting.

Marriage and relationship growth will always require shifting and changing as our circumstances morph around us and God continues to grow and whittle us beautiful.  We straight up can’t think that just because we’ve found ourselves in a rough patch or unhealthy rhythm that we can’t squeeze through to a better tomorrow.

Good old fashioned elbow grease and determination can free you from any jam you’re stuck in, even and especially marriage.

And if you’re going to view your husband as the yard guy, at least make a fun game out of it.  Sit in a lawn chair with some lemonade and shorty shorts watching him like he’s the ice cream truck on a steamy summer day.

Have you ever found yourself in a spot where you see your spouse as what they do and not who they are?  Let’s get together and high tail it out of there, it’s a sucky place to dwell.

  • http://treeofdeborah.wordpress.com SFriant

    Thank you for this post. (Love them all…but this is especially timely for me and my husband.) My husband travels a lot too, and with two little kids and no family around (great neighbors!!!), I fully understand the relief pitcher concept. It’s hard. You are not alone.

    • http://leannepenny.wordpress.com leannepenny

      Amen, I don’t know how you do it so frequently! Thrilled to hear you have helpful neighbors, that’s a gift and then some!

  • Heather Tiger

    Oh my goodness..this easily made the top 5 list of favorite Leann posts!
    “And if you’re going to view your husband as the yard guy, at least make a fun game out of it. Sit in a lawn chair with some lemonade and shorty shorts watching him like he’s the ice cream truck on a steamy summer day.”
    What an incredible paragraph! I cried, I laughed so hard. This is so close to my heart and the life space Aaron and I engage in far too often. “Hey, buddy roommate! Ready to take over?” I mean, talk about killing the romance so often. So thank you, once again, for allowing God to reach my heart through your honest, inspiring words.

    • http://leannepenny.wordpress.com leannepenny

      absolutely, so glad to be connected with you friend. One of my best gifts from seminary days are the women I met there!

      • Heather Tiger

        I wholeheartedly concur!

  • Amanda

    Oh my goodness I love this so much. It’s been a too-familiar struggle for me also. I got pregnant when we were 6 months married, and that’s when it began I think. After baby #2 arrived it got even worse because I am just so. overwhelmed. by the to-do list. I’m learning to slow down and see him, appreciate who he is. It’s going to take some time I think, but love is always worth the effort. Thank you for this encouragement.

    • http://leannepenny.wordpress.com leannepenny

      absolutely, may our focus always continue to shift off what we have to do and onto the people we do them with. It’s NOT easy but I’m pretty sure I could change our lives.

      • Amanda

        I think I need to paste that on my walls – “may our focus always continue to shift off what we have to do and onto the people we do them with.” Love it. It’s learning to be a Mary, isn’t it…

        • http://rebootingworship.com/ Jamie Kocur

          My husband and I don’t have kids yet, but I still sometimes view him as the “do-er.” I try to make a point to drop everything when he comes home and give him a big welcome home hug and a kiss, even if we’ve only been apart 8 hours. Whatever it is I need can wait.

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