A now a post from my husband, Kel Penny. I’m keeping the intro short so he gets all the word count today
So when Leanne asked me if I’d write a marriage post for her blog, my mind went straight to Genesis chapters 1-3. This is a biblical explanation of who we are and why we are united in marriage (“It is not good for the man to be alone”).
But, Leanne said that I should do a “top five” list and make it funny. This is why Leanne is the author/blogger and I am just a pastor. Scripture tells us that some were given to be Pastors and some to be bloggers (Ephesians 4:11, look it up, its there).
But anyway, I’m here to give you some marriage advice from a guy’s perspective. So here goes:
1) She doesn’t need your expertise ALL THE TIME. When she comes to you with a problem, typically she wants you to listen and talk to her about it. So when she comes to you saying she doesn’t like her boss, she’s probably not looking for you to give her advice on how to deal with it.
Try this: Say, “wow, that must be _________” In the blank insert an emotional word, not a technical or logical word. You see the big difference in the way that most men and most women communicate is that men speak logically and women speak emotionally.
Men you tend to think that logic is always better, Its not. Don’t believe me? Think back to your last argument. Did it seem like your were arguing completely different things? Its because you were, you were logical and she was emotional.
Now this doesn’t mean that you should never bring on your technical, logical mind to the table. For example if her computer is so screwed up she’s about to take a mallet to it, for the love go God step in and help her!
2) What you do with your time matters. Your wife loves that you bring home the bacon, I promise. She probably even likes it that you have hobbies. But, if you are spending all of your time away and not tuning into your family, then she’s not going to feel loved.
This seems like such a “no duh” thing, but actually this is easy to fall into. We have a tendency to get our priorities wrong because we’re working, something that is deemed important.
It’s important to mow the lawn, but it’s more important to be a father to your children and a husband to your wife. Think of it this way: you can pay someone to mow your lawn, but you can’t pay someone to replace you as father and husband.
I’m not telling you to stop mowing or quit your job, just make sure you have your priorities in order. They should go as follows:
Job / Calling
Remember, we are called to die to ourselves daily. If you’re doing this like Christ did, then you’ll automatically go way down on the list.
3) Throw pillows at her. Let’s say you’re sitting on the couch and she’s on the love seat crocheting or typing away on the laptop. The tv is on and there is not a lot of connection going on. How do you fix this problem? You throw a pillow at her.
Aim for the face and make sure you put a little arc on it. We don’t want to “Randy Johnson” a pillow at her head, we do love her. The goal is to get her attention.
When she gives you that venomous look, you know the one, the one that says WTH, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Smile and tell her that you love her and just wanted her full and undivided attention so that you could say: (insert a compliment here).
Now, sit back and watch the venom melt away. There might be a little residual frustration from you messing with her mojo but trust me, the risk is worth it. Because now you can play and have fun together.
She might throw a pillow back, which in turn should cause a pillow fight. Men listen carefully you never lose a pillow fight. Actually, let me rephrase that, never lose a pillow fight unless a circumstances arise that end in some adult fun time, if you catch my drift.
4) Pornography. I wish that I didn’t have to put this one down, but I’ve seen the stats. They are SCARY! Here’s what you need to know: Porn will ruin your relationship. Period.
Every time you view porn you’re creating false, unreal ideals in your mind. These fake expectations are impossible to meet in the bedroom (or anywhere else for that matter).
If this is a problem for you, get help, Don’t know where to go? Try here: www.xxxchurch.com They’re great and have free software to help.
If this is your battle (statistics say that it probably is, even if you are a woman) seeit as an addiction and take the necessary steps to get help.
Well I hope you enjoyed this! I could seriously write on this topic forever but Leanne put me on a word limit, which I blew past. So for now, toodledo!
If you have any questions, leave them in the comment section!
Also, guys, tell me what are the most important things you do in your marriage relationship?