Real Connection from Real People (you guys!)

On Tuesday I asked you all to share your tips and practices for staying connected with your spouse in the midst of crazy busy life.  If I’ve learned one thing from focusing on this subject it is this:  You have to make connection work for you, you cannot CANNOT wait for the perfect circumstances.

Basically, if you connect in small, simple ways regularly and plan special outings occasionally you will give your marriage room to be and grow.

Here are few ways in which you all are staying connected in every day life.
Thank you all so much for sharing your lives in this way.  It’s been such a blessing

1) Natalie and Michael Summers (Married 10 years) Me and Michael try to do a hump day lunch day!  We meet for lunch on Wednesday each week.  It gives us a chance to have adult conversation without listening ears present!  We started doing this a couple of years ago and it really helped keep us sane when we got foster kiddos!  

2) John and Jill Burden– (Married 4 Years)  John and I have a secret message for communicating our love; when we are in public and are feeling lovey dovey toward the other person, we will squeeze the other person’s leg, arm, or hand three times for, “I love you.” Still gives us the butterflies for one another! There is something about having that little gesture between just the two of us that makes us feel closely connected.

3) Lauri and Shannon Rowe (Married 16 years) Weekend getaways. They work wonders for our marriage. The trick is to not think getaways are only for when you are getting along. The best time to take them is when you are frustrated with each other. That is when you need to get alone and remember why you chose each other for this crazy journey. The other thing that is a must is SEX! Yep I said it, do it often, do it well and do it even when you are tired and not in the mood. It is a gift God gives couples and it will reconnect you even when your heart may not be in it.

 4) Mr & Miss Banana Pants  (Married 8 years)  One of the ways that we’ve found is making new tangible memories almost weekly. So much of one’s romance and fun and spontaneity is in the very beginning, when everything is exciting and new and lighthearted. You laugh, you joke, you pose for silly pictures….we decided to bring a bit of that back. We love to take silly pictures of us doing simple things together. The photos I’ve included are us doing the mundane, but making them goofy by taking pics of the moment. One day we decided to stop at a discount store and try on sunglasses, hence the shades with staches! Ha! One is just driving down the road to pick up the kids from Wednesday night church. The other is us enjoying a evening in spring on our bench on the patio just chatting. Nothing new and exciting, but just by whipping out the camera and snapping away, it changed the mood that can sometimes be too serious and too much about the finances or the kids, back to being about us and living in the moment. They are also so cute to look back on in those rough times and smile at your goofy expressions and remember, “Yep, I still do really love that guy.” 

5) Brian and Hannah Harrison (married 7, almost 8 years)  No matter what the day has brought or the evening holds we made it a point to eat dinner together.  Even if he comes home from work and goes then leaves for practice an hour later, we know we have that point of connection.  

6) Dan & Sarah Cody (Married 5 years) We connect on the front porch with a glass of wine or cappuccino after the kids have gone to bed, One of my favorite parts of the day!

7) David & Sally Verkaik (Married 28 years)  This is a shout out to my parent’s marriage, which despite all their bumps was strong and so very faithful.  I remember at least once a week my parents would drive to our local Burger King, which overlooked a hilly field.  They would each order a Hershey Pie and Coffee from BK  and chat in the front seats over coffee and dessert.  

8) Jennifer & Kurt Luitwieler (Married 17 years) – They are just dorky. We text thought the day, sharing stupid things we’ve seen. We post inside jokes on Facebook like teenagers. But mostly, I know Kurt LOVES it when as I pass him, I just give him a touch. An arm, or across his back. Anything. He loves it.

9) Kel & Leanne Penny (Married 6 years) Kel and I try to set a “date night in” and make a somewhat nicer dinner with a bottle of wine after the kids go to bed.  On the night of opening ceremonies we had a London themed Date night in our PJs.  Even on the nights where we crash on the couch we try to lay on the same one and touch so even though we’re zoned out, we’re doing it together.  

So I hope we can all gain a little inspiration for each other and find a way to connect with our spouses intentionally over the weekend.

Thanks for all your thought and comments over this Marriage Week, now I do believe I will take the weekend off and eat a cookie.

But if you have additional ideas leave them in the comment section and let me know which of these inspire you enough to try!

  • Lisa K

    I’m taking notes!

    • leannepenny

      I’ll print it out and put it in your wedding present 😉

  • Addie Zierman

    Meant to send mine in to you this week, but I just didn’t get there. I recently assembled all of the recipe ideas that I’ve ripped out of magazines over the years into a binder. Once a week, we choose a new appetizer, main course, side and dessert to try. We make it an event, set the card table up in the living room with the nice dishes and candles, and watch a TV show together (we started doing this when we were spending 2 hours every Monday night watching the Bachelorette as sort of a consolation prize for Andrew).

    We talk while we eat and play backgammon and relax. It’s so nice to eat slow without cutting anyone’s food. There’s something about getting out of the meal-rut to help you get out of other ruts too. It’s become a highlight of our week.

    • leannepenny

      Love this idea! May steal it a bit! Pretty genius way to take the sting off bachelorette.

    • Michelle (Peterson) Redmond

      I love this idea!