As I’m writing you, I’m wearing my navy cotton robe, the window is open and for now the oppressive heat has broken. Life is cooling down, can you feel it?
This week I walked away from the internet for a while, it was very 1997 over here. I should have donned an oversized Abercrombie shirt and a Jennifer Aniston haircut to complete the package. Maybe watched a little ER and nibbled on some Fun-Yuns (ew)
I lost out on a lot of blog life, tweeting and facebook posts while I was gone. (I had to re-log into twitter! Oh the insanity!)
But I gained margin to bear witness to the little moments where God speaks, the daily bread I have so sorely needed.
I love spaces, margin, rhythm and I can’t live a life of constant output without space and punctuation. I cease to make sense.
Friends, I am convinced that we are giving away all our spaces, filling them with screen time. We don’t look around while we wait in line, we don’t people watch, we just scroll and screen until our next obligation.
For the first morning I was off I felt like I had lost an appendage, I had phantom iphone pains. Which is insane, almost shameful.
I began to create a ridiculous image in my head of me with one arm and an iphone where the other one should be. I could hardly navigate life and it was comical but almost strangely poignant. Am I almost disabled by my constant phone time?
But the more comfortable I got with having free moments of in-between the more I realized that so often it is into those margin moments that God speaks.
Because I wasn’t online, God and I chatted about holiness, how he is whole holy. We broke a prayer barrier that grew up long ago.
Because I wasn’t online I saw my son in a whole new light, saw the patterns and behaviors that knit together to make up the Caedmon God created for us to raise up.
Because I wasn’t online I became an expert at playing kitties with my daughter. Seriously, I have a killer meow. I should do a video blog just so the world can catalog and enjoy it.
I realized how much I was measuring myself by your approval, by blog stats and numbers.
I love you all, I was texting with a friend the other day about how I refer to many of you in conversations as my friends even though we likely haven’t even chatted on the phone let alone met face to face.
I get to meet some of you at the STORY conference in a few weeks and I can’t think about it without goosebumps. SO. EXCITED.
But the thing is, sharing these windows into each other’s lives sustains me on many a lonely “stay at home mom” day. These words that we swap make me feel less alone in many of the thoughts and fears that plague me.
But friends, Margin… Is… SO… Good! God speaks in margin, souls breathe in margin, resolve grows in margin, so does love and peace.
I am going out this afternoon to get a margin tattoo. Not really, but I could take out a billboard on it.
Do you feel like a run together sentence some days? Do you need a little breathing room, a little margin? Maybe we need to amputate our screens until they feel like a tool and not an appendage.