First off I hope you didn’t mind Kel writing on my behalf yesterday, I was way too sick to be upright. The fever has passed now though and I’m doing so much better.
So the more I sort through memories the more I realize that I got out of bed at night, A LOT.
That being said I remember one October evening, when I was pretty young, that you stayed up late, determined to sew me a clown costume for halloween. I think the part that hung you up the most was the full, gathered neck ruffle.
When I snuck up behind you, you seemed frustrated about the whole ordeal. Yet still, one way or another you figured it out because like it or not, I was a clown that year.
And Laura was a clown a few years later so it was well sewn enough to weather multiple halloween seasons of crazy Verkaik children.
Now here I am, the mama bent over the sewing machine, pinning and cussing under my breath, determined to bring my ideas to reality, then take that reality and dress my child up in it for all the world to see.
I ache unspeakable when I think about all that we lost somewhere between that October evening and the one about 25 years later when you passed.
Because I know you started out with gusto, motivation, a drive to love your kids with warm muffins and homemade costumes. Thanks for being “that mom” as long as you could, armed with a sewing machine and unbreakable determination.
The kids are going as a Kitty and an Elephant this year, I’m still trying to figure it all out but I’m sure a few night out I’ll be thinking of you while I’m bent over the sewing machine in the wee hours.
I love you, I miss you