Levity is Lovely! (A search terms post)

lev·i·ty [lev-i-tee]

noun, plural lev·i·ties.

1. lightness of mind, character, or behavior; lack of appropriate seriousness or earnestness.

Levity, this is our word for the day.  This is the word we need to weave into the way today plays out.  I just need to laugh at the nuances of life, at how weird and wonderful it all is.

And what is weirder or more wonderful than googling?  Today I’m gonna share with you some of the insane search terms that bring people here to leannepenny.com.

Some of you stumble upon this place through earnest need and some of you are just… a little off.

For those of you who don’t know, we bloggers get a little report that lets us know where our readers are coming from and how they got here.  These are their stories.  (DUM DUM)

fleece fetish (and a thousand spellings thereof)- This is by far my #1 search term. I originally coined this phrase as a funny way to write about Gideon But apparently there are a lot of you out there who are really into fleece.  Like REALLY into it. So… I don’t want to know what you’re doing with your North Face other than wearing it on a blustery day.  We all love fleece here, but only for layering purposes, got it?

picture of buffalo- Uh, sure I love a good buffalo picture as much as the next gal so I guess we have that in common.  Go us!

depression and faith- Hi you, all of you who searched this, I’m glad you’re here because this a wildly confusing topic, isn’t it?  All I can tell you is that God can handle your depression even when his people tell you that your disease means you may not be his child.  You ARE, you ARE, you ARE his child!  I’m here to tell you this any day of the week, Depression ≠ No Faith!

saltine diet- I really worry that some of you are looking to get skinny by eating nothing other than these salty squares.  The only reason to have a steady diet of Saltines is if you’re too sick to hold anything else down, otherwise go eat some protein… or a banana, also Avocados are a super food.  Mostly, no crash diet tips here, I love the Saltine but I’m a big fan of all the food groups.

how long for a scar on knee to heal without being red- I know, I know, those knee scars are the worst.  I have serious knee insecurity… but let’s ban together and wear those cute above-the-knee dresses no matter how many times we fell off our bikes as little ones.

what was catwoman before being catwoman – I don’t know, I think she was a borderline neurotic secretary.  Then she went full on crazy.

raining bread- I think you mean Manna, but everytime you search this I end up with the “It’s raining men” scene from Friends in my head for days.  So, thanks for that.

fridge full of healthy food- This is one of my favorite things too!  I’m so glad we found each other.  Isn’t a stocked fridge such a gift?  It’s like opening a present every time you snack.

throw toms- So, I just wear mine, but I suppose that if you HAD to throw something that TOMS aren’t the worst choice.  Still, you may want to take up running, or get a punching bag.  Just don’t throw them at people, cool?

imperfect marriages– Yours too?  I’m glad you’re here, because now we can talk about real love and real life, it’s always imperfect, but I think that’s the beauty of it.

i hate myself wallpaper- Oh sweetie, let’s tear down that wallpaper and put up something more life-giving.  Remember, You is KIND, you is SMART, you is IMPORTANT.  And counseling is wonderful, not an ounce of shame in it.  I love you.

leanne in old testament– Nope, not anywhere in the bible actually.  And truth be told you’re more likely find me reading the the New Testament, but if you want some Old Testament fun I have a husband who can’t get enough of it.

my little brother is in the army– Mine too, isn’t it nerve wracking?  Wouldn’t it be better if they were say… Marshmallow tasters or Cotton ball testers?  Yeah, just keep praying for him, writing him and telling him how proud you are.  That’s what I do.  Oh and I ask a lot of questions because I don’t speak Army, it’s a whole different culture.

pinterest what will we do in heaven- Okay, so the BIBLE doesn’t give us much on this topic and I KNOW Pinterest is great but I think you’re shooting a little high with this one.  I can tell you that we won’t be pinning a thing though, we’ll be so content that we won’t need to have the perfect mantle or maxi dress.

i am depressed because of a lack of spirituality in my church- I’ve been there, and I’m sorry.  Never forget that the church us made of people who fail and so it will fail you, but it’s God’s true love so it gets messy when it’s a source of pain. Praying, loving, sorry.

pregnant girl in panties– I’m gonna pretend that you’re a pregnant woman looking for underwear advice so:  It’s okay to go up a few sizes when you’re expecting, comfort is key, and with all the aches and heartburn the last thing you need is tight elastic cutting into your buns.  (And If you are a pervert please just go away)

aqua armoire- Do you have one?  Are you giving me one?  Isn’t aqua fabulous, let’s talk about it.

chicken life– I’m assuming you’re not a chicken.  Are you a mom who feels like a you’re forever herding up a passel of fluffy little chicks too?  If so, I feel you.  If you’re a farmer looking for advice on raising chickens, I cannot help you.  But I would like to request fresh egg delivery.

dirty piglet- Go google, “how to bathe a piglet”, unless you like them dirty.  And thank you for pointing out that I use a lot of farm metaphors.

3 years as a parent and still overwhelmed- Me too, so is everyone else by the way, if they say they aren’t overwhelmed some days… they’re lying to you.

what jam with zucchini bread– Whatever you want, although I do cream cheese or butter.  Real butter.  (Go google “what is margarine made of” OR  “History of margarine” and then never use it again.)

Alright everyone, back to your crazy googling….

If you have a blog, what is one of your weirdest search terms?  If not what is one of the strangest things you’ve found yourself asking the google gods?

  • Lisa K

    This is wonderful! I’m so glad there are people in the world that search somewhat weird things and find you!

  • http://addingaburden.com Jill

    This post is everything I love about you and how I remember you when I first met you. It is SO GOOD to see you laughter again!! I’m laughing out loud. Love you.

  • Heather Tiger

    Thanks! I needed a few laughs, and fleece fetish and dirty piglet more than delivered. I remember the fleece fetish post, something about fleece underwear too! I looked at my search terms, but there really weren’t any strange ones. By far, the most searched is “Hospital survival kit” & “hospital kit for new moms”, but that’s not weird. I also have a lot of “Lonely quotes” & “I’m lonely” searches. HMMM..guess I went on a lonely kick for awhile. Still happens sometimes.
    Hope you are feeling better!

  • http://staceydaze.blogspot.com stacey

    Oh I have a friend who does similar posts and I always laugh with hers too. Loved this! What an insight into people, eh? As far as what brings people to mine, I remember one about grilling hawaiian style which I do wish I could remember verbatim. It just made me laugh and I wondered what post it took them to.

    • http://annetteskarin.net Annette Skarin (@carinskarin)

      Oh, oh…does anyone know that my name Annette is in the Bible? Are you ready? Mark 1:16 One day as Jesus was walking along the shores of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon, and his brother, Andrew, fishing with a net…(NLT)…So I was named after a female fisher person.

  • Rebecca Roberts

    This post is so entirely you, Leanne. Thanks for the morning laughter. I definitely needed it after a very long week!