I’ve found myself saying it more and more lately:
“I think if we could just get a win we would be okay, we need a win.”
What I mean when I say this is that we need something to go our way, we need a bit of life changing news, not another challenge but rather something that removes a hurdle or two.
I found myself inserting this concept not only into conversations but into my prayers: “Dear God we need a win, a landslide, something life changing. I’m tired of the day to day struggle.”
One day as I was saying this to a friend I stopped myself short; suddenly I realized how ridiculous I sounded. Not to my friend on the phone, but to God, the giver of all good things.
The sustainer of our breath, the founder of our simple feasts, the payer of our mortgage.
I wonder if, upon hearing those words, he felt as I do when I make my hungry children a plate of delicious food and they respond in whining. When I give nourishment and they complain because it’s not the precise thing they were hoping for.
No chicken Mom, that’s not what I wanted, I wanted spaghetti, or ice cream or pie! Or Mom, I want apples but not THOSE apples, I want the ones that come crunchy in the mickey mouse packet. Please put THESE apples in the trash.
And it was in that moment that my perspective changed. I was just another Israelite griping about the good things. Asking God to put his good gifts in the trash and try again.
We don’t need a win, in fact we don’t need anything at all. We are blessed, free and lovingly nourished, and a little bratty when it comes right down to it.
If we’re not getting what we want it’s because there’s still plenty in the “right here” to learn from, to be thankful for. There are a few items on our plate that we need to nibble on for a while. You need to eat a few more forkfuls of chicken and broccoli before you get your cookie… does it sound familiar?
God knows what to put on our plates and when, his gifts are perfect and his timing impeccable. I want to be mature enough to work on the plate I’ve been served and stop asking for cookies and pie for dinner.
Because I need nothing more than God has chosen to give right now, which is plenty, abundant really, a feast of sorts.
I know it’s easy to justify whining when you’re living in a season of tight budgets, dirty diapers, and tough concessions. Seasons that feel repetitive and challenging are never our favorite flavor of living and it’s easy to pray for a change, to believe you need a win.
That you deserve something easier.
The truth is that there is something formative and important that we haven’t figured out yet in the “right here,” some vitamins we need to ingest for the journey ahead.
The God of infinite wisdom, the give of all good gifts doles out what’s best for his children in seasons. He prepares plates for us that feed and sustain, spiritual chicken and peas if you will.
Yet we, God’s children, often whine like children do and make ridiculous demands when it comes to the plates we’re served.
No peas God, thank you, I’d like pie. More pie please. No more green sustaining food, no vitamins or moral fiber, just sweet and easy if you please.
No, I don’t want to be that kid any longer. I want to eat what I’ve been served with minimal whining. I know I’ll be human, I know I’ll screw up but I want to move past always asking for a win, always wanting more than the perfect portion I’ve been provided.
Do you find yourself here too? Always asking for a win, forever asking for peas over pie?