Next week I have a big, newsy, tour of the church post planned. But for now, it’s another feely post about church planting and pastor’s wifing. Cool?
For those who are new, every Saturday for the foreseeable future, I’m writing about our church planting journey. Here’s a little more info
I remember one specific episode (viewed in my suite mate’s room just before lunch) where a bunch of church women were touring the parsonage and commenting loudly on the curtains and bedrooms with disdain and loads of snark about the decor.
In their opinion, since the home belonged to the church it was theirs to evaluate, tour and scrutinize.
So often ministry families feel like this. Owned. Scrutinized. Evaluated and found lacking.
College me grabbed another handful of Doritos and told my suite mates… “See, this is why I will never be a pastor’s wife, that’s crap.”
But…. here we are. #pastorswifed
They say that man makes plans and God laughs. This phrase has always bothered me because it makes God out to be a bully who enjoys messing with us.
It also bothers me because it seems to hold true a lot of the time. I didn’t want to be a pastor’s wife, but here I am.
I talked to a lot of other pastor’s wives and they said the same thing. “I never wanted to be a pastor’s wife, but here I am.”
I think it’s because so many of us worry that somehow God’s work will be the undoing of our marriages and families.
We’re worried you’ll judge us
We’re worried you hold us up to unreachable standards and dismiss us when we fail you
We’re worried you’ll judge our children, maybe make them hate church.
We’re pretty sure that you’ll say mean things about our spouse
We’re worried we’re not good enough for our role
We’re worried we’ll fail you by example.
And all these fears, have validity in the history of our lives
They’re valid because they happen. Continue reading