I have 20 minutes to write this before I need to paint cabinets and tackle a MOUNTAIN of laundry. I didn’t plan and I didn’t edit but I wrote, and I sang and it feels good.
We don’t have cable, which is sad, because I love HGTV. I remember fondly the days of folding laundry with toddlers underfoot and letting House Hunters play like an endless soundtrack in the background.
That was a few houses ago.
3. 3 houses and 4 years ago.
Did I tell you we are about to move into our 8th house in 8 years of marriage? Craziness I tell you, my life crazy.
Back when we were living in house number… 5? Let’s see here… carry the 1… there is no 1… Riverview, Broadhurst, Asbury, North High School… Yep CR 3590, House number 5.
House number 5 was brand new and sparkly, it had a huge soaker tub and two whole bathrooms with showers! It was small, but it was easy and as I sat in my small, easy, brand new house, the musings of the buyers and renovators on cable’s most popular home channel seemed plausible, logical, a little demanding at times, but I felt for them.
As I prepare house number 7 for sale and another friggin exodus I watch HGTV with a healthy dose of cynicism.
The other day while Noelle and I snuggled for a House Hunters Binge we heard a lady say the following:
“I’m just not sure I can live with that color of granite counter tops, we’d have to replace them before we moved in. I expected better taste when shopping in the 800k price range.”
What? Live? Like survive and not die? You’re not sure you can LIVE with THAT COLOR of HIGH END GRANITE countertops?
Oh sister, not only CAN YOU LIVE, but you can live WELL with any color of granite countertops. And? Come closer because this one may shock you, there are those of us who actually live happily with laminate countertops…. from the sixties.
I know, I know… I’ll give you a minute to process and recover.
Take it from someone who has moved on average of once a year for nearly the last decade. For someone who has lived in a partially condemned cinderblock apartment, in a home that had more than a few cockroachy roomates, from someone who has lived with five people sharing a single bathroom… with one sink.
It is not about the countertops
It is not about the number of sinks in the bathroom. What is with people and their refusal to spit toothpaste in the same sink as their spouse? What else are you doing in those sinks that is setting you back so far?
It’s about you. Not the house.
It’s about being thankful for the walls that keep you warm, however quirky.
It’s about cutting fresh food on whatever countertops you find yourself with and using it to nourish the people you love.
It’s about brushing those teeth and spitting foam into the sink and then looking in the mirror and thinking “Hello gorgeous, let’s go out and do another day of life and say thank you as we exit the front door.”
You (and your people) are the heart of the house and if you’re in disarray, your home will show it.
The best thing your house has going for it is you.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love home decor, I love high end finishes, I love a master bathroom where I don’t have to kick duckies aside to take a shower, I’ve never had them but I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy granite countertops too.
But those things have come and go in my life and you know what I have learned? It’s fine.
It has taught me that, as blogger The Nester says, It does not have to be perfect to be beautiful. And above that? It may come and go.
Your job may change, you may have to leave the home you loved and poured into and when you do it will be sad.
Trust me, I am sad. I alternate between grief and “go get em” on a daily basis. Maybe even an hourly basis.
However, and maybe this comes with being a mom of 3 and having no choice but to rally for my peeps, you can weather the storm of a move. Even another move on top of another move. I can weather it because my people will come with me. They don’t stay with the house.
And God’s love, even though it’s confusing the hell out of me right now, will go with us.
It’s not about the where, it’s about the who.
It’s about rolling with the punches, because even in a home with perfect finishes, life is going to punch.
So shop for a beautiful house if you can and use it to love and feed the souls of your people.
Buy a fixer upper if that’s your jam and do your best, learn as you go, laugh at how many “paint shirts” you now own and learn how to use spackle because it’s the bomb.
Move into that new rental and nest in it because it’s yours, even if it’s just for now.
Your home will change, you will grow into it and maybe out of it, and then you will leave it behind for new life to blossom and grow there.
But you and your people are the story and come what (or where) may, you have it in you to live your story well.
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