4 Things To Hold Onto When Your Backstory Tries To Take You Down

out-of-the-dark-1485093

Source

It’s been nearly 5 years since my mom took her own life and it’s really hard to put into words how I deal with that on a daily basis.

Most days I am still in disbelief that this is a part of my story, my family’s story. I joke to new friends that I feel too normal to have such a dramatic back story.

The back to school days have me in a bit of a depressive funk. Some days it’s just a small gray cloud but once in a while it’s a bit worse than that. I am upping my meds since I am on a low dose currently and choosing to be thankful for Zoloft rather than feel shame that I can’t hack it “au natural.”

The bad depressive days are the hardest when I start thinking about my Mom, when the enemy creeps into my ear and says “maybe you will repeat her story, or maybe your kids will…. it’s in you, it’s in them.” Continue reading

Chillin the Most (The mantra that least describes vacation with kids)

I know summer is behind us, almost officially. I meant to write this post as soon as we got  back from our epic family Labor day camping trip, but back to school week proved to be even more insane than I thought. 

IMG_0021

Look at me chillin!

Speaking of our Labor day camping trip, it was amazing! Every year our family takes a camping trip about an hour North of here, it’s nothing fancy and it’s not really too terribly rustic. It’s really a campground by a lake near a cornfield and some cows and yes we have flush toilets and showers.

But that doesn’t really matter, it’s not the what, it’s the who…

This year we had 35 people camping, we are one camping site away from taking up an entire section of the campground, and I have to admit, we’re pretty proud of ourselves.

The one site in our section that was not in our family had a wicked sweet trailer. They had the nicest camping chairs I have ever seen, they even had an inflatable screen and a projector so they could watch the sandlot around the campfire. Seriously.

But the thing the had that I found the most ridiculous was this big, red flag that said “chillin the most.” (NAME THAT KID ROCK SONG!)

For the first few days that flag taunted me…. and for the last few it just made me laugh. Well played flag… well played.

Because for me, there is nothing “chillin” about camping with kids… or any other vacation with kids for that matter.

I love our annual  camping trip, we reconnect with family and get ridiculous tan-lines. We fall asleep in sandy beds after one too many s’mores… but guys? it is crazy exhausting and not one iota “chillin.” Continue reading

What I’m Into (July/August 2015 Edition)

Here I go once again linking up with the crowd over at Leigh Kramer’s blog for a rare but hopefully returning edition of “what I’m into”

Here’s what your favorite Michigander and mother of three has been up to…ish

11707545_548683078687_5812536906029144715_n

Well, I’m sitting here making a packing list for our annual Labor Day camping trip which means that summer is coming to a close, quickly. I haven’t been doing a lot of writing on the blog lately but I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work which has kept me at the keyboard.

I’m trying to strike a balance there, school will surely help. Although I have one doing half days and one doing whole days so I feel like I’ll be mostly driving…

Screen Shot 2015-09-03 at 8.43.18 AM

Summery Summary – We’ve been in living in the parsonage (which we have named the Wrecktory… because rectory and also young kids) for 12 weeks now. The upstairs is really coming together and although we need to get a new couch, I am really happy with it. Caedmon and Noelle each have their own room and like I said, Clara has a crib in Noelle’s room but we’re mostly accidentally co-sleeping with her at this point. The move was really all encompassing and we didn’t do any fun kid-camps or vacations but instead have been exploring our new area, trying restaurants, hitting up the beach and playing in our backyard and garden. Produce has been a big focus this summer and we’re picked blueberries, strawberries, peaches and apples as we talk to the kids about real local food and show them what eating that way looks like. And then some nights we order cheap pizza, just in case you were worried we were getting too Holy over here. Continue reading