Category Archives: everyday life

mama said… mama said

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So yesterday I had one of “those days.”  Not a red letter, life altering day, but the sort that makes you want to laugh and cry all at the same time because it just keeps taking a turn for the worse.

The sort when you want to tell total strangers that in light of your current circumstances you are terribly clever and intelligent.

The sort you want to tell a friend about, because it’s hilarious so long as you’re not in the middle of it.  So let’s have a coffee date shall we, and I’ll tell you about “that day I had.”

It will make you feel better about your life and I’m okay with this.  

The day started with a marriage spat, which set both Kel and I on edge.  He took the kids to the zoo and I headed off to the coffee shop to get some work done.

Afterwards I wanted to hit up Barnes and Noble to crack out on some new books.  But, I knew that browsing would turn to buying, which wasn’t in the budget.

But the library was free so I decided to head there.

photoBut, wait. I didn’t yet have an area library card and to get one I would need a new, Michigan driver’s license. This would require a trip to one of the worst places in the world, the Secretary of State’s Office (DMV).

So, I returned home to get the proper documents to get a new license so I could get a new library card.

There was a line out the door but I decided to brave it, I was kid free and I needed to jump this annoying hurdle so life could go on.  So I waited in line to take a number.  When I got up to the desk the lady checked over my documents and promptly told me that I lacked “proof of presence.”

I almost sassed off and told her that I was present… and that was proof.  But I refrained.

But she smugly sent me back home for either my original birth certificate or a passport, because my current documentation was inadequate.

I want to give up… but I was going to finish this dang it so I drove home to get my birth certificate, grabbed a little lunch and headed back with steely resolve.

Halfway there I realized that in the act of getting lunch I’d left the bloody birth certificate on the counter at home.  I plopped my head on the steering wheel so loud that the horn made a short, angry honk.

I turned back around, AGAIN and walked back into the house AND grabbed my BC off the counter and drove back to the office…. again. Continue reading →

bones and broth (and loving people well)

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When I first started cooking, raw meat nauseated me. At first, I tried only touching uncooked chicken with forks and soon realized that I was going to have to get my hands dirty.  Slimy in fact.

So I dove in and never looked back.  And I went through a lot of hand soap just in case.

My cooking started small and simple, chicken breast with McCormick seasonings, steamed vegetables.

I remember the first time I made a big roast for my family.  I got up at 4 am to turn on the crockpot and sprinkle a packet of lipton french onion soup mix over top the meat.  Then I went back to sleep feeling like a low level super hero and woke up again at 9 to the smells of Sunday dinner on the way.

As I continued to cook, I gained skill and tried new things. Yet, somehow the only chicken I ever worked with was boneless, skinless chicken breast.  Thighs, legs and whole birds scared me to no end, I preferred the sanitary comfort of the pre-packaged breasts.

As if the breasts are the only part of a chicken?

Then, one evening, not too long ago, I shared a meal at my friend Jenni’s house and stood in awe as she pulled a whole, perfectly roasted, lemon pepper chicken out of the oven.  We were soon gathered around the tabled enjoying it with buttery chunks of roasted onion and mashed potatoes.

It was the best thing I’d ever eaten on a weeknight.  I was hooked, I had to learn to roast a chicken on my own to replicate the homey deliciousness I’d enjoyed at Jenni’s table.

So one night that next week I decided to go for it, whole bird anxiety aside I would conquer this personal, mountain.  That first bird must have been good because I’ve been in the business of roasting chickens ever since.

There is something honest about working with a whole bird.  When you’re massaging butter into bumpy skin and stuffing lemons and garlic into a cavity you can’t deny that this used to be a live neck bobbing, seed picking chicken.

lemon-herb-roast-chicken

It has dark meat and veiny, bloody, bony parts about it which don’t look anything like the sanitary packaged breasts you’re used to.

It’s a process, roasting a whole bird, it takes planning and thought. It can’t be tossed into the oven on a whim, but it must be prepped and roasted until the oven thermometer says it’s time to dig in.

And after you’ve sliced it apart and picked all the acceptable meat from the bones it you can boil it with onions, carrots and celery and come up with bountiful stock. As you pick through the colander after straining out the stock you can get your fingers dirty once again as you hunt for tender meat which can only be found by sifting through the bones of the bird.

There is nothing quite like taking a chicken full circle: from raw, to roasted, to stock and then picking out simmered morsels just before you toss the whole business in the trash bin.

The other day I was picking a chicken (like one does) and thinking about my people.  At some point in the bones and boiled onions it occurred to me that the sort of relationships I want to cultivate can be well summed up in the process of roasting a chicken.

I want to be involved with the whole of people, not just the sanitary parts that look attractive under cellophane.

Because life is made up of dark and white meat, the messy flaws and the laudable talents.

The depth of flavor of living is brought out in the boil and when we go through the heat and are married together like bones and broth.

I don’t want boneless skinless friendship, do you?  I want the dark pieces that are mottled with blood, I want to be there on funeral and new baby days, rejoicing and mourning.

I want people who love me in spite of my odd operating manual and I want to do the same in return.

I want to nourish my people, mind, body and soul with roasted chicken and real, bloody, beautiful living.

Last night my daughter snuck out of bed for the 17th time and begged to snuggle with me on the couch.  As we laid there, bed time long past, she began to chatter about love of all things:

“Momma I love you, and I always love hugging you.  And you know what mom?  People who love each other can make bad choice and still love each other because that’s what love is.  You just always love.” 

And then I cried and kissed every bit of her face because “from the mouths of babes” doesn’t even begin to describe the profound truth she’s found in four years of living.

You take your sanitary living, as for me, I will take the bones.

What I’m Into (May 2013 Edition)

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Month in (super) Brief Review: Well this month should be fun to review, eh?  It started off in Oklahoma with an enormous moving truck which we promptly filled like the packing ninjas that we are.  Then we closed on our house and said a hundred teary goodbyes to our Oklahoma friends and family.

Our drive up was blessedly uneventful and we were met at our new home by a dozen friends and family who helped us unload and unpack in a flurry of cardboard and bubble wrap.

May Collage 1

Then we began the process of organization and settling in, which involved rotations of working on the house and leaving it to take in the pure Michigan awesome we now find ourselves in.

We bought a membership to the John Ball zoo and I created an epic playroom in the basement.

Kel did a stint on a construction crew and I went back to my former job at Century Driving school (one day a week.)

Noelle turned 4 and we filled our house, (twice!) with friends and family to celebrate four years of our beautiful Noers.

Then Kel accepted two (TWO!) jobs with the Michigan Methodist Conference and we planted some Kale and Zucchini in the side yard.

So…. yeah?  Wow.  Bring on the JUNE and with it hopefully some much needed routine and rhythm because I don’t think two of our May days were quite alike and to be honest I could use some same-ness.

May NAture

Great Reads & Word Discoveries:  This has been a terrible month for reading.  From blogs to books I have been absolutely MIA and it’s been a struggle to even keep up with email and messaging.  There is too much to do all around me and I’m cracking out on nesting and cozying into our new digs.

But I pick my way through Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver.  This was my first novel by Kingsolver and I found it… okay.  I had to force my way through it and the endings were not shocking, I could have predicted them from the first page.  All that to be said I didn’t hate it so… there ya go.

May Collage 2

On the TV Screen:

So we are nearly caught up on Dr Who and I have to say that I’m now a self proclaimed Whovian.  Not only that… but Matt Smith is “My Doctor” (Every Whovian has one) and I am now comfortable coming out of the closet with that confession.  I held a torch for David Tennant for so so long but Matt and I?  We “get” each other, I even love his chin… and that’s true love.

Also… we met Ted’s Wife on HIMYM, we met THE MOTHER!  How did we feel about this? Are we excited, disappointed?  As for me, I need to know more. But one evening Kel pointed out… Check out how much we already know.

Also over the last week I started Parenthood and I’m already both addicted and smitten.  The Asbergers diagnosis alone had my heart strings pulled to tear inducing tautness.

Favorite Bites:

This past weekend I attended the Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers (which was awesome and I absolutely recommend) and Jason Berg prepared the most fantastic fare you could imagine.  Every meal had a fresh farmer’s market feel to it and it re-centered my culinary aspirations.

Overall I am loving the start of summer food and the weekly trips to the farmers market.  I stopped at a farm stand this past week for some freshly snapped asparagus and rhubarb which I turned into the best rhubarb crisp I’ve ever had.

Oh and I made 10 lbs of potato salad and I even shared with you my (not) super secret recipe.  

May Collage Food

Non Verbal Creativity (craft-crack): If I had to be honest with you, which I do, this is where most of my time has been going lately.  I’ve spent the month of may in serious nesting mode trying to get our new place to feel like home.  I’ve made valances, a play tent, curtains and some wall art.

I started painting a dresser for Noelle and I also learned how to make a granny square afghan.

I’m awash with half-completed projects and disorganized closets.  This is all to be expected, but that doesn’t mean that it’s my favorite.

Oh but look!  I made an orange floral skirt out of some sale fabric and one of Kel’s stained white T-shirts.  Total cost on this was under $10 and it has an elastic free yoga band at the waist which means it’s comfortable and fancy all at the same time.  #winning !

May what I love

Miscellaneous Love: 

Le Creuset 8-Quart Covered Stockpot (I’ve joined the Le Cruset owners club!)
The phrase “craft beer” which can be found all over West Michigan
The Holland Farmer’s Market and the abundance of farm stands.
Ghirardelli Sea Salt Soiree -  I always have it in the house so I can nibble at will.
Biggby Coffee, especially the Holland one at Chicago Drive and Waverly.
Constant hang out and play date invitations
Laying on the couch with the widows open, snuggled up to Kel at the end of a busy day
Our neighbor girl Summer, who stops over to play with Noelle.

May Collage 3

On The Blog: 

Most Popular Post: Crap, I’m a Sexist - “Outside I portray equality, share-care and few gender stereotypes.  Yet my mindset is stuck on June Cleaver when it comes to personal expectations.” 

Runner up: What Oklahoma Gave Me: A Beginning - “ I’m so thankful for these walls, this start, and I can’t help but grieve the end of this chapter. It was grace beyond grace in these walls and right now I’m finding it hard to walk out that leaded glass door for the last time.

But hope is on the journey. This is one beginning giving life to another, I know this full well.”

So that’s my May… I think… it’s been a weird month so I’m probably missing something.

So now it’s your turn, what have you been into, up to… all about? 

This post contains amazon affiliates links, clicking through will result in your supporting this blog and all the work that goes into it.  

Unpacking the blessings (an update)

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I think we’re long overdue for an update on the what-abouts of the Penny 4, yes?

It’s hard to write an update without it being really and truly a session of blessing counting, a run down on all the unimaginable ways in which God has showed up for us time and time again.

We are nearly completely unpacked and at least mostly settled into our new home, which couldn’t be more perfect.  This home came to us through the Hand of God via a dear old friend.  It has three bedrooms, it was spotless when we arrived, it’s gorgeous upstairs with a huge basement in a family friendly neighborhood.

While I busily googled duplexes God already has this home in mind for us.

Update College 3

We hosted two birthday parties for Noelle only a few weeks after we arrived and the feeling of having my family in our home was precious to me beyond words.

When it comes to the job situation, Kel accepted two pastor positions yesterday, That’s right Two!  One of them is short term and will require a commute and a few nights a week with Kel out of town each week.  The other is local and very exciting, we hope that it turns into a full time position sometime in 2014  and Kel is able to drop the weekends away from our family.

Yesterday when he returned home from his second interview he grinned at me and said: “I told you we’d be okay baby, 20 days here and I have two great jobs, God’s good.”

And he’s right God is so good.

God is fields of tulips good
God is last minute dinners out with friends good
God is Noelle serving my Grandma lemonade on her birthday good
God is bird watching with Caedmon in the early morning hours good
God is cool evenings with a Michigan breeze through the huge slider door good
God is local craft beers on Mother’s day good
God is fresh Rhubarb crisp in bed just before dozing off good

Life Collage

And as for what I’m up to?  I’m doing some work but I’ll include more about that later.  Right now I’m packing for a weekend away with writer friends that I couldn’t have ever made happen on my own. God sent it and I think it just may save my life because with all this good has come a whole lot of tired and overwhelmed.

No, the packing and the unpacking of life has left me little time or energy left to sift and unpack the musings of my heart.  So I think I’ll go pack one more thing… just a little bag of essentials so I can take the weekend off from… well everything really.

So I’ll see you on Monday, yes?

In the meantime, what are you up to?  What joys are you bursting with?  What are you unpacking?

Graceful Elephant Eating

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Can I follow Monday’s post up with a post about moving anxiety?  Okay thanks.

It’s Wednesday morning and the rain is tapping noisily on my window.  I’m sipping my coffee with special almond cashew creamer as Caedmon lays in the other room watching Little Einsteins. This is the only way I will get some me time in this morning because the cat woke him up with his obnoxious morning song just moments after my feet hit the floor at 6AM.

We have a termite and septic inspection today and then an overall home inspection tomorrow. Last night the kids helped with this by coloring all over the dining room area while I was busy getting dinner in the oven.

Then just before bed, Caedmon clogged the bathroom sink with toilet paper and ran the water until it overflowed onto the counter.

We move in three weeks and I have only three boxes packed, just three. Kel works every evening this week and is out of town next week for an extremely exciting job interview.

When he gets home from the interview we will have only two weeks until the big move… and … Dang… That’s not a lot of time to uproot a family of four after five years of settling into every nook and cranny.

You have no idea how desperately I want to hide in the closet with a book and pretend that all this pressing work of sorting and packing isn’t looming over me like an evil piñata.

My Pastor Zac has a phrase that always comes to mind when I’m facing overwhelming tasks:  How am I going to get it done?  The same way I would eat an elephant: One bite at a time.

elephant

I have no doubts that I’ll be a mess of crazy as we load the truck, I’ll try to hide it with bad jokes and nervous laughter but I’ll be on the verge of stress tears.  I’ll be giving things away left and right and throwing crap through the back door like a madwoman, anything to be done packing.

Yet I know that the moment will come when we pull the truck away with bittersweet tears and begin the slow, three day journey from one home to another, it will get done one way or another.

And I know something else, they’re just boxes and it’s just stuff, only a few things in this house matter and the rest can be replaced at Target or thrift stores.

Last night as I tucked Caedmon into bed he requested I sing him Amazing Grace and as I did he surprised me by knowing every word of the first two verses.  I melted into a puddle as his beautiful, tiny two-year old voice sang those words along with me.

Tis Grace that brought be safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home.

Grace will lead us home, Grace will pack the boxes, Grace will load the truck…

The tiny little man in the crib is what’s real, the rest of it’s just boxes.  One step at a time, one bite at a time we will gracefully eat the elephant that is our big move.

Oh Praise the one who causes the baby sing and the Pastor use ridiculous metaphors.

How do you tackle the big stresses?  Any moving tips?  Will you all be my moving support team for the next three weeks and be okay with my crazy?

New Blogwarming Party, Welcome!

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Hiya!  And welcome to our new space, this is where we get to hang out from now on! Isn’t it cozy and fantastic?  Plus it’s aqua, which is my favorite color in the world, the color of our wedding, our dishes, our bedspread… you get the idea.

Would you mind at all if I gave you a little tour?  Then I want to give you a present, is that alright?

See the top navigation bar?  ^ Nearly all the words in there are brand new, I’ve spent time weaving them so intentionally.

There are even some new features there, especially the “my people” link, where you can get to know some of my sweetest friends.  I’ll be adding to this list as we go.

One of the most functional changes is the new Disqus commenting system.  If you haven’t used it before you will need to create a user name, but after that it will be ever so much easier and will free up the dialogue here.  Trust me, I’ve put some thought into this.

Over to your right you’ll notice those lovely aqua (squeeee!) buttons underneath my picture (which I realize needs changing)  You can use those buttons to connect with me in all sorts of ways, now including Pinterest and Instagram!

Oh and that signature down there?  It’s my real handwriting.  And that flower?  That’s my doodle, I put it on oh… everything from sermon notes to handwritten cards.

Sorry about all the ! I’m excited, and in fact I’m not sorry, this redesign has been in the works since September. Continue reading →

The one where I give up storm chasing

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Storm

Back in his college days my husband helped his best friend Andy storm chase across the state of Oklahoma. Andy was a meteorology student and so clouds, their colors, their movement, were his obsession, his favorite art form.  Like any good Oklahoma chaser, he pursued mostly Tornadic cells, waiting to see the hooks and churning that indicated a funnel cloud may touch down.

Kel was a bit more level headed and stayed home on his computer to help Andy avoid getting sucked up into the sky.  Storm chasing is a serious business here in Oklahoma and if you’ve seen the movie Twister, they tell me it’s not too far fetched.  I wouldn’t know, when the weather gets insane I stay on the couch.

Kel heads out to the back porch to check things out, this is typical Okie behavior by the way, when the weather gets crazy, the crazy go outside.  Native Okies = Crazy

I love to using storms as a metaphor for the difficult seasons in our life, I’m not alone in this. Something about the dark, swirling clouds and the ear splitting thunder soulfully resonates with our human experience.

There are two sorts of storms that roll across our lives, both painful, both hard, yet quite different.   Continue reading →

Groundhogs Day (for when you wanna drive off a cliff)

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Yup, life's like that.

Yup, life’s like that.

My amazing friend Hannah (read more about her at the bottom!) says that lately everyday of her life feels like Groundhog Day.  You know the movie where Bill Murray wakes up and does the same thing all over again, and again, and again, until he drives off a cliff?

 

Because if we’re honest, that’s what life feels like sometimes.  It feels like we’re making great efforts all day long only to fall asleep exhausted wondering if we’re making any this busyness is going anywhere at all.  And then… we get up and do it all over away.

(so put your little hand in mine….)

I wipe the same table so often it makes my head hurt.
I load the same dishwasher while saying the same things as I shoo the same kids out of the bottom rack.
I coerce my children to pick up the same toys off the same living room floor.
I cook meals that seem the same in the same pots at the same times.

And a lot of days I wonder about the smallness of my life, I know that in the grand scheme it amounts to so much but some days it feels like I’m stuck.

The other day I caught myself telling a friend that writing has been hard lately because I’ve exhausted all the inspiration I can find within these four walls.  I commented about how I needed to get out more and have some new experiences to stir up the creative juices.

And while new experiences, vacations and escapes are good, needed sometimes, I don’t think they’re the solution as often as we think.  So often when things are falling apart we think that we need to get away to fix things or find what we’re looking for.   Continue reading →

Still here and here, still.

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Us. Loveseat.

Good morning from my office, the one next to our dining room table which is covered in laundry and uneaten pancakes, still a bit sticky from last night’s mac n cheese for dinner.
Cuz we’re fancy when Kel’s out of town. We sent him on sabbatical by the way, shipped him to a cabin in the woods to talk walks and read books and pray.  I think it’s my season to take special care of him, because marriage has seasons like that, doesn’t it?

So I’ve been solo parenting these past few days, but I refuse to whine about it because I know too many single moms that do it solo every.day.  They’re some of my most super-est heroes. (I’m looking at you Jenae, you stalker)  

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A few hours before Kel left I posted a chalkboard list, asking for ideas to pass the timewhile Kel is away.  I was going to sew the kids a puppet theater, and take them to the library, we were going to make the 45 min trek to the Children’s Museum.

I had big plans to cram the hours full so they’d fly right by.

But we didn’t do most of that list, we played and baked and read a lot but we only left the house together once.  There just wasn’t anyplace we needed to go, we found great contentment in the sweet right here.

Pitawich!We dug into all those new Christmas toys.  We giggled a lot as Noelle invented a new lunch called the pita-wich, a sandwich, IN A PITA!  We think it’s funny but odds are you  had to be here.

I wiped their noses a lot.

We ate mostly clementines and leftovers.

I annoyed Caedmon by sneaking up on him and clipping clothespins on his shirt.

I became a novice railroad engineer by building tracks on the train table.

photo copy 4 We watched Cars 2, a lot and I let them Vroom cars on my head and legs.

My dear friend Jessica came over to help me a bit and I opened up my heart to her.

I spent a lot of time sitting still, snuggling my children more than I have in months.

I doled out hundreds of kisses on their faces and necks, irritating amounts of kisses.

I’m a goer, a doer, a producer, but these past few days I realized that how much I’ve shortchanged my motherhood.

photo copy 3 When they fell asleep I cleaned up the most pressing messes and then headed to bed to read and write and be still some more.

Because we needed this cozy, simple stillness. I needed to remember who I am and see these two beauties for who they are, which is exactly who they were created to be.

Sometimes I see the mothering as the distraction, the roadblock standing between me and what I need to be doing.

photo copy 2 I know that sometimes it will still feel like that.  Things aren’t perfect around here, I’m not living in an permanent state of mom-gasm like some women SEEM to be.  I freak out, I lose it, I need a break from the noise and crazy on a bi-hourly basis.

But this morning as I sip my luke warm coffee I’m simply thankful for the sweet, still right here.

I’m also thankful that Kel gets home in about 5 hours… not that I’m counting.

What’s grounding you these days?  How have you spent the first week of the New Year?

Mind the Gap: The only New Year’s resolution you need.

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mind_the_gap_please__by_eternalsunshine88-d49w5d1

Today I’m sitting in my “office” in Oklahoma, sitting indian style on a dining room chair and munching away on veggie sticks.

I’m also contemplating some hot tea and about to give Kel his marching orders for a much needed WalMart run.

Yesterday we spent 18 hours in the car driving from Hudsonville, MI back home to Ada, OK.  I wanted to kick and scream like a toddler for the entirety of the trip.

Because I was exhausted and the end was always forever away.

Because I hate long road trips

Because the kids were constantly whining and kicking my seat

And… Because I flat out didn’t want to return to Oklahoma.  Michigan is home and I really do hope that God gives us what we need to do something about that in the new year. Continue reading →