Today I want to tell you a story, talk about light and then introduce a new series I’ll be hosting here for the foreseeable future.
It all felt like a nightmare, one I half believed I would wake up from. Denial at it’s finest, or worst rather.
I stared down at my ruffled ballet flats pressed together on the funeral home carpet and marveled at the turn my life had taken. Just days before I had been laughing with my Dad on the phone and now I was standing 5 yards away from his body, laid out in a casket.
I couldn’t find the strength to approach it, to see him in his stillness, his glasses still and speckled with paint. As I stood there I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was my Grandpa, the one who had stepped up to pay for the costs of my Dad’s funeral.
It’s all a blur in hindsight, but I know I heard something like this: “I think it would be really nice if you and your siblings pitched in to cover your Dad’s headstone. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a stone to go visit.”
I told him that yes, I would take care of it. Silently I wondered how I’d pull it off, I was in college, my brother was in High School and my sister lived in a group home in Texas, not a lot of money in that equation.
A few days after the funeral Kel (at that time my boyfriend who’d flown in to support me) and I headed up to the monument place recommended by the funeral home to figure out our options, headstone-wise. The worst shopping trip ever.
Over the next few weeks my mom and I decided on a black granite stone with the words of Romans 8:28 etched along the bottom.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”
I chose a scripty, non deathlike font for the main text along the top and a pond scene with loons to be etched across the entire front. I took great care to make it something that didn’t feel like anything I’d seen in the cemetery before, something that felt more like life than of death.
It would be pricier than expected, but it was what I needed to do, it was the only design I could deal with. Continue reading