Last week Friday I had my first big speaking engagement, which is a fancy way of saying that a church asked me to share at their women’s retreat.
And guys, I was nervous, I started shaking about 12:30 in the afternoon and still all hopped up until I fell asleep that night, honestly just writing about it is exhilarating and nerve wracking… in the best of ways.
But so many friends texted, tweeted and Facebooked me encouragement, let me know that they believed in me…. that I didn’t go into that room alone.
Also I bought red power lipstick, this helped too.
Also Also my friend Anne sent me a gorgeous shirt for the occasion, this also helped because I could stop worrying about what I was wearing and worry about what I would say.
And it went well, it went so well. As I gazed out over the faces of all those women (a little over 100!) I felt more energized than nervous, more impassioned than afraid. In short…. I think I sort of loved it.
The evening was under the umbrella of a winter storm and when I went to park in the ramp in downtown Holland, the van slid on ice and I had to carefully back it down.
I immediately realized that if I can survive THAT, I can talk to a roomful of women for 45 minutes. After all, it won’t kill me or total my main source of transportation so how bad can it be?
When I walked in, the smiles of the organizers put me at ease. We walked to the room across the street where the conference would be held that evening as we chatted about the weather and having thick hair all while the wind did it’s best to whip the hood off my head.
Something I haven’t yet mentioned: The church who asked me to come speak is the church I attended as an adolescent, the church both my parents attended when they died, the church where we held their funerals.
This was both comforting and extremely intimidating, because while they knew my story... they also knew me as a 14 year old girl. Continue reading