Good morning from my office, the one next to our dining room table which is covered in laundry and uneaten pancakes, still a bit sticky from last night’s mac n cheese for dinner.
Cuz we’re fancy when Kel’s out of town. We sent him on sabbatical by the way, shipped him to a cabin in the woods to talk walks and read books and pray. I think it’s my season to take special care of him, because marriage has seasons like that, doesn’t it?
So I’ve been solo parenting these past few days, but I refuse to whine about it because I know too many single moms that do it solo every.day. They’re some of my most super-est heroes. (I’m looking at you Jenae, you stalker)
A few hours before Kel left I posted a chalkboard list, asking for ideas to pass the timewhile Kel is away. I was going to sew the kids a puppet theater, and take them to the library, we were going to make the 45 min trek to the Children’s Museum.
I had big plans to cram the hours full so they’d fly right by.
But we didn’t do most of that list, we played and baked and read a lot but we only left the house together once. There just wasn’t anyplace we needed to go, we found great contentment in the sweet right here.
I wiped their noses a lot.
We ate mostly clementines and leftovers.
I annoyed Caedmon by sneaking up on him and clipping clothespins on his shirt.
I became a novice railroad engineer by building tracks on the train table.
My dear friend Jessica came over to help me a bit and I opened up my heart to her.
I spent a lot of time sitting still, snuggling my children more than I have in months.
I doled out hundreds of kisses on their faces and necks, irritating amounts of kisses.
I’m a goer, a doer, a producer, but these past few days I realized that how much I’ve shortchanged my motherhood.
Because we needed this cozy, simple stillness. I needed to remember who I am and see these two beauties for who they are, which is exactly who they were created to be.
Sometimes I see the mothering as the distraction, the roadblock standing between me and what I need to be doing.
I know that sometimes it will still feel like that. Things aren’t perfect around here, I’m not living in an permanent state of mom-gasm like some women SEEM to be. I freak out, I lose it, I need a break from the noise and crazy on a bi-hourly basis.
But this morning as I sip my luke warm coffee I’m simply thankful for the sweet, still right here.
I’m also thankful that Kel gets home in about 5 hours… not that I’m counting.
What’s grounding you these days? How have you spent the first week of the New Year?