Patient, Joyful, Hopeful (or getting Bslapped by Romans 12)

photo To say that life has been an uphill climb for our family lately would be accurate.

Oh, and also a bit of an understatement.

We’ve described it as swimming through molasses or as putting out endless fires.

We’ve even described it as a losing battle, on our worst days.

It’s not that anything big is wrong really, it’s just that every simple thing blows up in my face.

It’s like this:

I get up to make breakfast, but I can’t because I realize that in my stressed out state, I put the eggs in the freezer and ruined them.  So I go to grab my car keys so that I can go out for oatmeal and do some writing work, but I can’t find them.  Anywhere.  I give up and decide to take the van when I realize that I can’t work at all, because I’ve left my laptop 170 miles away and won’t be getting it back for a week.

Ugh.  Really?

Caedmon has learned a new phrase over the past few months: “I give up on this!”  This morning it was: “I give up on this yogurt!  I give up!”

Establishing ourselves in Michigan has been a blend of beautiful and stressful and living on two part-time incomes is no easy feat.

We’ve said all along that this was going to be a hard, faith-demanding, Abraham and Sarah-ish transition.  And guess what?  It is! It’s pinching and exhausting and mostly uphill.

I knew it would be, yet I act shocked and ooze whininess.

Yesterday I was working in a coffee shop on a borrowed laptop and I decided to give up some of my time to read the bible and pray.

I say this because I’ve developed a bad habit of seeing prayer and the bible time as expendable.  Please feel free to believe that this is the source of a lot of my current stress and issues, because… I know… 

So I’ve been working my way (slowly and erratically) through a study on “prayer in the bible” and yesterday’s reading smacked me with truth.  Hard.

It was beautiful and simple-sweet, I smiled, but it stung.

“Be patient in hope, joyful in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

That’s it, that was the entire days’d reading.  And guess what? I’ve been doing exactly none of those things… and it’s been killing me and my family. Continue reading