Guru Schizophrenia

Right now I am eating candy corn /peanut mixture aka “harvest crack” aka “the snack of the angels in glory”

As I fixed my snack, I had no fewer than 3 inner voices tell me why I shouldn’t.

One from my gym trainer guy: “You shouldn’t eat between meals, you should send your body into a starvation mode where it’s forced to live off fat to burn those last 10 lbs.”

One from a food blogger: “Is that a nourishing whole food? Is that food coloring in there?”

One a mental health resource: “Cutting back on sugar can help with anxiety.”

They all decided to weigh in on my snack choice as I stood in the corner of our kitchen.

I found myself wanting to yell: Everyone Back Off!

But the scary thing here is that I was alone…. fighting with the many guru’s I’d allowed to have a voice in my life.

I don’t know about you but it’s getting really crowded in my inner monologue, downright schizophrenic really.  I’m the sort of person who loves new ideas and systems and occasionally (read: all the time) adopts them without asking enough questions.

I’m an over-committer who loads her plate full and still feels inadequate and lazy and now I have GS, guru schizophrenia.

Mariska Hargitay

Mariska Hargitay

You say I should workout more?  Yes! I should go to gym for hours this week! and do lunges while I put away laundry.

What’s that writing guru?  Get up at 4:30 every morning if I really mean it?  Right on.  I’ll do that too!

This nutrition blog says I should cut out alcohol and sugar and caffeine and starch and live off of chicken breast and greens? She’s right, I’ll do it!

When you adopt too many voices and believe in too many “right ways” of doing things it gets noisy in your head. You start to live in a perpetual state of letting yourself and all those inner gurus down. Continue reading